More From the Mind of Morgan

I’m running out of time. I need to make a decision that will be hard to make. I’d like to say that I already know the outcome – that I already know how this will all end, but I don’t. I am just as blind as you are from it all.

I can’t even remember how it all began or where or why. I just remember how it felt. How you spoke to me, counseled me, made it all okay.

Sometimes we fall into place, and it’s a perfect fit, but the downside is that everything around us comes crashing down. I was no longer standing there to hold it up. I was too involved in your world and what you wanted from me. Sometimes I wonder who I really am and who it was you fell in love with. Was it really me or just someone you created me to be? I liked the make-believe and you liked the Peter Pan feel of it all. But this is a land we can never exist in so why even go there at all?

I can’t even remember how it all began or where or why. I just remember how it felt. How you spoke to me, counseled me, made it all okay.

I thought you were my safe haven in time. That even if it was too unreal when it was happening, I could always return to you when I was older, wiser and could give you back what you really needed from me. But the reality is, is that as I become older, and wiser and am able to give you back what you really need from me, I’m not sure if that’s what I really want. I’m not sure I want to keep making these escapes back into your room; into your corner of false hope and self-doubt

Oh how I want some of our moments to return! Oh how I want just a piece of you to look at every day! Why can’t it all be perfect? Why can I not be given it all? Because it’s not perfect they tell me. Because it’s not even good enough. That’s the whole point isn’t it? That’s what I should have seen from the start.

I can’t even remember how it all began or where or why. I just remember how it felt. How you spoke to me, counseled me, made it all okay.

I am telling you now I will never forget how it all began or where or why. But I will try to forget how it felt. How you spoke to me, counseled me, and in the end made nothing okay.