Refine Me

I'm not sure how to shake this anymore. Why does it haunt me still after so many years? Am I supposed to keep fighting or should I give in to the temptation I face? I thought after time that my fears would lessen, I would become stronger. And maybe I have, but I sure don't feel that way, especially at times like this, on days like today. Everyday, I have to remind myself of who I was and where I've come. Why go back to a hole in which I took so long to climb out of? Lord I know there are demons on this earth, put there to challenge me; whether in human, object, or emotional form. How do I make sure I am only a servant for you and not for them? Is this possible? Can I be strong enough....in myself and in my faith? I hope so, and I pray so, but I know it will take all of me. I can only rehearse the same Jennifer Knapp lyrics and the same bible verses so many times. I need your help. Please help me not to fall, and if I do, please remind me that I can get back up. I must resist the urges that show up in my life. Lord, I want to be your hands and feet, your mouth, not my own, and definitely no one else's. Just yours. I know who I am supposed to be, please help me stay on the path to reach that goal. Don't let me get sidetracked by the detours. I must get through this, not just for myself, but for you.