Pulling on my heart strings...

After holding back tears for most of the morning, some have finally released themselves and my heart started writing. And what I thought I was sad about earlier has now apparently turned into something entirely different, or maybe it's all the same thing, I'm really not sure. 2 songs came to me - The Beatles, "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away"


and Ben Harper, "Diamonds on the Inside"


and after listening to the 2 of these songs, and having my heart totally tell me something I didn't even know I was feeling, here's what has come from it:


I wish I could tell you my darling what I am crying about. I want you to feel these tears and know the meaning they possess. But never do I want you to feel the pain behind them. Not that I don't think you will be able to handle it, I know you are stronger than me, but I don't want you to know that kind of pain.

The peace I feel while gazing at the leaves on the trees outside of my window, these trees I often look to, is the peace I know I will feel someday while holding you. Being able to comfort you, rock away any concerns you may have, is something I know I want now. And I know I will be good at this. Not many things can I say that about. I am unaware of my positive traits, but I know I will be good at being your rock.
But I already can tell that you will have to forgive me from time to time. I will not always be like the trees I look at now. I too will sway back and forth and pieces of me may even blow away or disappear for months at a time but unlike the trees I may not be able to stand tall and strong for you always. I may shrink against my own self-awareness. And you, I'm sorry to say, may even have to pick me up. But please know that I will do my best for you.

I want this. I can now say that to be true and have no doubts or regrets. I haven't even met you yet but already know that I have never been prouder of anyone else. I have never wanted to know and love anyone else more than you. You haven't introduced yourself to me yet but already you have such an influence on me.

You have changed my life in just a brief minute.
You have changed my life in just a brief minute.