as you go through life, during each step of it, everyone around you wants you to move on to the next step and insists on asking you about it....
"what college are you going to go to?"
after you find that special someone, "when are you going to get engaged?"
then it's, "when are you going to get married?"
they give you like a year, and then, "when are you going to have kids?"
The kids one is where I'm going to spend some time on...
Not only does the question get annoying after a while, but there ends up being so much else that goes along with it. All around me, I keep hearing people say, just wait till you have kids...that'll change when you have a kid... now that i have kids...
I get it! It's not some new profound thing...your life changes when you have kids, I understand that and never have said otherwise.
I don't just have beef because I've been told of this, but I have seen friends, family, and clients of mine told things like this as well. Not only that, but once someone's pregnant, the entire 9 months people try to fill their minds with constant good and bad advice and stories that don't meant anything for that particular person in their situation. Just tonight, I read on a friend's facebook wall a comment from someone basically telling them that they don't know what they're talking about yet because they haven't had their baby yet, that they won't understand what they're talking about until they actually have the experience of raising that child. Geesh!
What is with we humans and our insistence on telling everyone we know everything we know, whether we really know it or not. Maybe sometimes, we just need to sit tight and let someone figure it out on his/her own. And, just because a woman hasn't had a baby yet, does not mean she needs to be shunned...give us a break and stop telling us our lives will change once we have kids...I already know that!
Disclaimer: I am not yelling at any of you reading this, I promise. I'm just yelling in general.
Monday, November 17, 2008
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4 comments:
I'm just going to start shouting "Well... PISS ON YA THEN." It's so true though, I've had people actually tell me that a dog is different than a child. Really? I totally thought I could let my child eat it's own crap and then roll in it for three days. I guess I was wrong. Dang.
yah, good thing they're telling you that or you would never know! i just figured you'd put the baby in the crate and put the diapers on the dog...i've never had children of my own, so i have no idea
To be fair to we snob moms, cause I know I've done this, it works both ways.
I couldn't count the times that I've felt left out, not even considered, or even worse, made to feel like a stick in the mud because I didn't "just try harder" to make something work.
It's hard knowing that your friends (without kids) really have no idea how you're feeling, even if they try really hard. And some don't even try. And when you're someone like me that didn't have hardly any close friends with kids when I had Evan, that can feel really lonely.
When I make those kinds of comments, I'm usually trying to bridge the gap - to try and impart a little empathy...usu...other times I'm just being a brat.
i know it goes both ways...and i'm sure i'll be guilty of plenty of it down the road...
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